Had a dream last night about “E” in work. He is really the only person I don’t get on with. In my dream he started to kick off on me over a joint task and I asked him to step into another room and got “S” in as a mediator. He carried on ranting for a while, then I stopped him and asked him was it me, did he not like me, did he think I wasn’t competent? He then shrivelled up into a ball underneath a table and grew a really long moustache and started babbling and rocking like a mad man. Strange dream. Goes back to me dealing with conflict I think. I need to get better at it.
I do shy away from confrontation and I need to find a way to remove the barriers and gain the confidence to approach people who have issues with me.
My tinnitus was quite bad last night going to bed after the events of yesterday, and it is a little heightened today, more than normal. That scares me a bit, because the energy I felt yesterday was so raw, so uncontrolled, I don’t know mid / long term if reiki will help or hinder my tinnitus.
I guess I know there is an energy force within me. Maybe tinnitus is an energy force and it’s not what the doctors say it is. I certainly felt that during the attunement 1 and 4 and the share with “M”, the tinnitus was somehow linked. I have had panic attack type feelings in the past where there has been a sudden burst of tinnitus whilst walking down the street giving me that ‘I’ve just fallen over inside my head’ feeling, really disorientating. Maybe it was a burst of energy.
2 vivid recollections of this syndrome was walking past Holly Lodge school on Green Lane shortly after I first contracted tinnitus which had me grabbing school wall by the side of the road. The second was walking down Church Street, Liverpool on a busy Saturday afternoon, with me having to takeg a detour down the side street which housed the Solitaire clothes shop.
Just had to take some pills for my headache, a little boost today as my vision is slightly impaired (blind spot).
Thinking about yesterday more, people were saying they were getting visions which I did not, except for one thing. When we were sharing with “J”, I saw the shape of a 5 pointed star, not a pentagram. I showed “J” my tattoo with a star of the same shape. It was only last night that I remembered that the star was an extract of the inlay from a Smashing Pumpkins album (Melancholy and the Infinite Sadness) and my favourite slow track Galapagos, which has embedded in it the star I saw, which is actually a nautical star, which is either a coincidence or a sign as “J” works on water sports.
Put the cd from “L” on to our mobile devices, then hooked up Spotify and subscribed to her uploads. Put on a few tracks and then selected the Kundalini one, the piano intro reminded me a little of Anathema, and instantly a huge wave of energy came over me. A short while “A” pinged me from Amsterdam to tell me about his new addition to the family and we got chatting about yesterday. As we are kindred spirits of sorts, I shared my experience as he has taken up yoga as a result I think of me telling him how good it was, and I think he may follow suit with reiki.
After reiki yesterday we went for fast food, but as I had taken out all of the wife’s cards from her purse we didn’t have enough money for all. After we counted all of the change, we found that we had enough (2p spare) for the wife and the kids but not me which was ok as I didn’t really want fast food, and I had the low fat spaghetti bolognaise from the night before. Then today, we had no pound coin for the Morrisons trolley as we had used everything the night before, only for me to casually look down into the door of the passenger seat to find a single £1 coin.
Whilst in Morrison’s, walked past a bunch of Coke Zero bottles, the one in the dead centre which my focus was drawn to read “L”…
When I got back from lunch, knocked next door to advise that there was a bees nest in their loft space. “S” wasn’t in but at the point at which I turned around to go back to our house, his ex girlfriend turned up in her car so I told her what we could see from our garden. And her name. “L”…
Yoga was good tonight. I found it a lot easier tonight, whether that was because the postures were easier or the benefit of reiki its difficult to say.
Walking back down the beach way, bumped into “J” with his kids. Said that he’d tried it on himself last night and he could feel it. Told him about the nautical star image.
Still issues with the neighbours across the road. Still not sure what to do there. Think it will have to be a confrontation of sorts, in a real positive way if I can. Really awkward as every time I leave the house it’s right there in my face. Still getting a little wound up about it. It needs to get addressed and this is a good test of my reiki outlook.
Did reiki on the dog a few times today, he seemed to zone out and he’s been following me around more today, so it seems.
Felt really good overall today. The troubles of last week all put to bed. Just need to sort out the neighbours thing and be positive in work.
Gave the wife a quick 10 minute reiki session. Minimal lighting, lavender balm, Russill Paul’s music (Track 2: Aum and Track 3: Lokah Samastha). Third Eye Chakra: Some energy. Throat Chakra: Some energy. Heart Chakra: Felt energy running around myself and legs felt really heavy like lead (maybe the way I was standing, or a carryover from yoga, or something else. Solar Plexus Chakra: No energy. Sacral Chakra: Some energy. No REM so not as strong as yesterday for sure.
Asked the wife is she felt anything. She said she felt relaxed, and had a feeling of being at sea, bobbing up and down, like on a lilo. That’s the way I feel the energy, it’s not a constant, it comes over in waves. She also said that my breathing was quite off putting. When the energy flows, I fall deeper into it and as the energy intensifies my breathing deepens as a result. Must try to stop that in future as it was mentioned yesterday as well (even though I couldn’t help it during atunement 1 as I did know what the hell was going on)!