Dream Diary: If at first you don’t succeed, stop trying…

Like a great many things in life, the harder one tries sometimes, the further away achievement advances.

A classic example of this syndrome was my pursuit for a soul mate. I recall nearly 15 years ago that I lived alone, in a house that I could barely afford, begging friends or foes to lodge with me so that I didn’t have to foreclose on my property.

Thankfully, someone did take me up on that offer, and at once I set off on a quest to get out there, cover in man-oil, prowling the rock clubs and pubs of Liverpool and Birkenhead in search of girls.

I tried. Then I tried. And then I tried. Nothing. Nada. The harder I looked, the cheesier the lines, all my hand was showing was a picture card high, miles away from the full house I was seeking.

So eventually, fatigued I stopped looking. Stopped trying. And then I saw her. A chance meeting on the Liverpool waterfront, our eyes met and there was an instant connection. Something special. 15 years on and we are still together. Granted the road took a sharp bend and nearly threw us out of the car, but we were both strapped in and clung on for dear life.

Similarly (after some serious digression), my first lucid dreaming experience happened in the same manner. In the weeks leading up to my sojourn into this night-time activity, I read and read it, discussed and discussed it, and eventually I started. I tried for the first week without success, and then life got in the way slightly, my focus turning to the setting up of a local meditation circle (and associated technique I have developed) to the family, (the wife having corrective surgery post-cancer), Stand Up Paddleboarding (which is my new weekend hobby) and work.

On Monday night this week, it started. I woke at 07.00am when my alarm went off. Snooze button. Buzz Buzz, 07:09am. Snooze button. Buzz Buzz, 07:18am. Snooze button. And then something happened. Between 07:19:am and 07:26am I managed to fall back asleep. In my dream, I was out jogging when I came across an old friend who was also out jogging. He had long hair again and I recall him having it tied back in a pony tail, complete with a pretty yellow ribbon. We had drifted apart many years ago and haven’t really spoken since a chance meeting at the supermarket a few years back.

He jogged past me and didn’t seem to want to stop. I let on to him and he nodded as I asked how he was and how his new partner and child were doing. Without turning, he ran up a set of stairs in front of us which led to a bridge over a train track. As he carried on up the stairs, I thought sod you mate, I was only trying to be friendly and followed the path he trod. When I got to the top he was waiting for me, and we swapped pleasantries about our respective families, after which he asked if I wanted to back to his for a while.

He opened the door to his house and all I could see were lionesses. In the hall with the door open I could count four or five of them, wandering around the ground floor of his house, quite sedate.

I recall turning around quite shocked, and my vista changed in an instant and I was standing in my bathroom, my wife brushing her teeth in the mirror. I told her that I had bumped into A” and give the lowdown on the lions in his house.

She turned to look at me and laughed “You have either gone mad, turned into a liar or you are just dreaming”. At once, I realised that it was the latter. I was dreaming and for the first time since taking up lucid dreaming, I remembered how it was I could check.

I tried to lift my right hand to put it in full view of my face and it felt really heavy. When it eventually came into view I could not discern any of the digits, the hand was grey and devoid of fingers, like a bulbous flipper. All of a sudden a huge wave of energy came over me (feeling quite alien and strange), and I came out of my dream.

I woke up really excited though. Without the rules and regulations, the constant reality checks, the constant overlooking at dream signs and the like, I had had (albeit briefly) my first lucid dreaming experience!

So it was then that I realised I needed to get up, get dressed and ferry my wife to the hospital for her surgery. And it was then that I became a little anxious. “L” my reiki mistress told me a few months back to look out for energy waves, especially when you are not expecting them, they are a sign that the energies are shifting. On thinking that, I temporarily thought the worst and had a sense of foreboding about the events of the day.

Later on after I had dropped her off, I sat and meditated back in the garden and sent healing energies to her, whilst at the same time I sent “L” some information to support her bid for a local venture and realised the energy surge I had had in the night was a positive one, not negative, and all of a sudden the weight bearing down on me was lifted, and I knew the wife was going to be fine.

And was she! The surgery was better than we had both hoped and fingers crossed she will only need one more operation before things are back to the way they were.

We spent the rest of the evening in each others company and went to bed, holding each other.

Lucid dreaming must be like buses, you don’t see any for ages and then two come along at once!

Part way through the night, I dreamt that I was back in Malaysia and out to lunch with some colleagues. I recall wandering off on my own to a bookstore. Something wasn’t right about the scene, where had my colleagues gone, and more importantly, why was I back in Malaysia. And then it dawned on me, I was dreaming. I knew what to do, so I tried to raise my right hand, this time no issues, No blurred vision, no bulbous abomination instead of a fist, a normal right hand. I took the two fingers from my left hand and pushed them straight through the palm of my right hand. And then there was a buzz, not as intense as last night, more like a shift in the Matrix  (cheesy I know) and then everything became crystal clear. The bookstore was in ultra-high definition, I could make out the individual spines on each tome from the other side of the store. I needed to do one more reality check, I looked again at my right hand and could see the lines as I traced them across my hand. Upon realising I was lucid, my mind turned to one thing, levitation, so I dropped both arms to my side and looked up. To my shock I was no longer in the bookstore, I was in a wine store and a man in a smart suit and chiselled features (looking like the guy from The Hunger Games Part One with the ridiculous facial topiary stood in front of me and boomed “You cannot do that, I am the one who controls your dreams”. And with that I left the store and went back to work on the 19th Floor of the Petronas Towers, ready for the afternoon shift…

I will return to bringing some structure back to my lucid dreaming and catch up on the backlog of emails I’ve been sent via The World Of Lucid Dreaming website on the train back from London tomorrow. Who knows it may bring even more success, as long as I don’t try too hard…

Dream Diary: Day 4

DATE: 16th April 2014
TIME: 8 Hours 28 Mins
MEDITATION: Yes (30 mins before bed – Tai Chi / Zazen / Reiki)
REALITY CHECKS: Yes (a few times during the day)
MIND CHECKS: Yes (during meditation)
SLEEP TALK RECORDER: Yes (nothing of interest , other than a muffled “parp”)

RECALL ALL: I was flicking, through the channels on the TV. Sugar mice in the rain…

Last night’s dreams are difficult to recall, to put into words. I can liken the imagery as I woke up to sitting on the sofa with the Sky remote, starting off at BBC on Channel 101 and ending up on Scuzz Channel 367, giving each channel on the way through a few seconds to impress me before I realise they are all full of boring dross and turning over to the next one.

It started off with me being in London and watching the second film in the Matrix trilogy, where Neo and Trinity getting jiggy with it, except this time it was odd. Very frickin odd. I can only liken it to the David Kronenburg film “Videodrome”, where James Woods takes hold of a revolver and his body morphs around it so it becomes part of him. Likewise in the dream, both Neo’s and Trinity’s arms and legs morph into the others until they become one amorphous abomination. Although it started off with me watching it on the silver screen, my vista soon changed so that I was in the room with them. Soon after a different scene, with me packing several suitcases in a hotel room, which almost as quickly changed into me taking part in the next version of Hunger Games, again almost as brief, my only recollection was being in a forest trying to activate a glow stick (but it was more of a transparent canister), with dire consequences as it heated up exponentially, a bit like the power cell in Superman I, which melted through the floor.

After I awoke briefly, I drifted off again and back to London, where I was in the office, my last day on the project. All I remember was that “S” was sitting next to me smoking a joint (I do remember smelling it, something I didn’t think one could do in dreams [like my ability to read in dreams which I have experienced this week], recalling that it smelled like a normal roll-up rather than the good stuff). Both he and “R” decided not to give me my leaving present which was on a folder up piece of paper, before an ex-colleague “F” who had a head full of hair (very improbable) asked me where I was moving to, his face fading and the dream ending.

Dream Signs: Neo/Trinity (Form/Context); “S” smoking (Context) Hunger Games (Action); “F” with hair (Form).

(NOTE: So after 4 nights of trying, the Dream Signs are most definitely there that is for certain, but there is no indication as of yet that my conscious state has the ability to recognise them and attempt to persuade my subconscious to look at my right hand. That is what I am looking for in my dreams, as soon as I see my right palm coming into focus, I will know that there has been progress. I will not lose faith, I will persevere. Patience is a virtue, as well as an awesome song by Guns N Roses…

Dream Diary: Day 3

DATE: 15th April 2014
TIME: 8 Hours 10 Mins
MEDITATION: Partial (30 mins in morning – Tai Chi / Zazen / Reiki)
REALITY CHECKS: Yes (4 times during the day / in between dreams)
MIND CHECKS: Yes (5 mins before sleep)
SLEEP TALK RECORDER: Yes (although nothing significant recorded)

RECALL ONE: Back in the DHSS…

Another day back in the office. As I walk through the dark narrow corridor before entrance, I hear the ringing of phones. Another day back in the call centre. Mid way through my shift “GM” call me over to his desk, which for some reason is in the middle of a huge wire frame contraption which goes up a few hundred feet, noting that there was no ceiling to the office, above us only sky. He states that if I wanted, I could climb to the top of the tower and take a zip ride all the way to the bottom, as long as I would make a donation to a LGBT Charity (associated to the Pride movement), which I thought was a bit odd as he was the school bully for many years at my comprehensive school.

I agree and begin to climb the tower with a female colleague I do not know the name of. We both reach the top and secure ourselves for the zip ride. As we make our way down, I realise that the whole thing as actually a big zipper, as we speed down the spiral, I look back and the wire frame has turned into material and the two pieces separate like the zipper on a pair of denim jeans. As I get towards the bottom going faster and faster my vision fades and the dream ends.

Dream Signs: Working with “GM” (Context); “GM” interested in gay rights (Inner Awareness); Wire Frame (F); Zipwiring in office (Action)

RECALL TWO: School Dayz…

I enter the place where we are having our school reunion, it appears to be a dome type structure, a marquee of some sorts, in dark aqua marine. There is one main room where a lot of people already are, with an annexe towards the back. I see “SD” and “JD”, girls I hadn’t seen in over 30 years. As others start to filter into the room I see “K” and “H”, former friends who I hadn’t seen for quite a while as we fell out many years ago. I go over to Ken who now has no hair and his ears are sticking out, I smile to myself that he now looks like the character “Pob” from the Welsh TV station S4C.

After saying hello to “H” who I had not changed one bit in the last 15 years, I make my way to the back annexe. I see “AW” who used to be my best friend at junior school, he and a few others are gathered around a machine which presses pennies into commemorative coins for certain events, although I cannot the design of the pressed item. “AW” has an oddly shaped key and he appears to be some sort of machine repair man. I walk over to him and say ‘“AW”, I haven’t seen you in a long time, what are you doing these days?’ I look away temporarily towards an outside cooking area and when I turn back, “AW” replies to my question but with a stutter, his face has changed into “SM” and he continues by saying that he was a forensic solicitor, a private investigator who looked at cases that police couldn’t solve. We walk outside towards the cooking area, and find that it is a serve-cook, self-serve place, so I start to cook us some steaks, as I do so my vision fades and the dream ends.

Dream Signs: “K” and “H” at my school reunion (Context); “K” looking like Pob ” (Form); “AW” turning into “SM” (Form)


I am on a train in a dark tunnel. The place is completely black and no lights are on. I know I’m on a train because I can hear the familiar noise of the train going down the track as well as the rocking motion. As the train leaves the tunnel, I realise that I am sitting next to “AW” (who is “AW” and not “SM” this time) and he tells me of the case he is working on. It is a very strange one. As he describes it to me, my vision changes to the actual scene of the original crime (like a dream within a dream), and I am in a really old and creepy house. At the bottom of the staircase, there are two small children, accompanied by their mother, a grotesque character who is a miniature version of a woman. All of her features are relative, just miniscule in comparison to someone of her age. She must be around the height of a two year old child.

My vision of the house fades, and I am back on the train, “AW” continues his story that it is alleged that the woman who was into dark arts and that she had murdered both of her children, and herself, but that no bodies were ever found. He is onto a lead in the case which is taking us north to the National Library Archives. As the train passes close by to a road sign, I see that we are near to Chester-Le-Street, and a short while later, we go past the Newcastle river side, the Tyne in full view. Our final destination is Irtby (which I see in big letters on the platform sign) and we get off the train and make our way over to the archives building, which coincidentally is on to the train station platform.

We go in to a small room and I’m surprised to see my friends “L” and “C” in there looking for books. This archives had a specific children’s book section and that was were “AW” suggested we go. On a small scrap of old parchment, I can make out scrawled letters EDIN TONBLY, and I point out to “AW” that it is an anagram of Enid Blyton and that we should look for her section. We find it and start scanning the bookshelves, and right in the middle of her archive, there is an ancient looking tome called “Exhumus”. I pick it of the shelf, and it’s not really a book, it has book like appearance, but also like packet. As I go to open it, dust starts to fall out. I open it and to my horror I find the ashes of the two small children and the mother, as well as the small shrunken skull of the evil matriarch. Accompanied with the remains, there are some odd black magic trinkets. I realise that the clue was in the book title, “Exhumus” relating to exhume – to unearth, and that is exactly what we have done. All of a sudden a character who is sitting on a chair at the end of the aisle approaches. It is Derek Dick (Fish from the rock band Marillion) and he tries to steal the trinkets from the ashes, as he does so, my vision fades and the dream ends.

Dream Signs: “AW” and I on investigation (Context); Miniature matriarch (Form); “L” and “C” in Irtby Archives (Context); Fish (Context)

Dream Diary: Day 1

DATE: 13th April 2014
TIME: 8 Hours 36 Mins

RECALL ONE: On an Eastern promise

I am once again living in Malaysia, spending time with a female colleague “J”. During my first time over there, we spend a lot of hours together, both inside work and outside (lunch, team events etc). My wife is suspicious for some reason that I am having an affair with her which I am not.

All of a sudden we are in a gondola, I have a suit on and she has the same wedding dress that my wife has for our up and coming vow renewal. As we talk in the boat, a picture of the two of us is displayed on a digital billboard (akin to those seen in Blade Runner) and my wife puts two and two together and thinks we are having an affair (which I subsequently tell her we are not). Unconvinced, we pack everything up and board the plane back to the UK, destined to go our separate ways when we get back. The flight is delayed for some reason, and I also meet another colleague in the airport (who I really don’t get on with) who is getting on the same flight as us. As we take off, we see a storm ahead, as the captain relays the message over the speaker that we are going to have to find an alternate route around the storm. As the plane is starting to get thrown around in the sky, my vision fades and the dream ends.

Dream Signs: Digital Billboard (Form); Colleague at airport (Context); Storm (Action)

(NOTE: Interestingly, at the time of the dream, my Sleep Talk app recorded my voice saying “Help…… Falling….. Head…… Ta…”)

RECALL TWO: Health and Safety in St Helens

I am in St Helens (a town just outside of Liverpool) and I’m attending a Health & Safety course. St Helens looks strange, instead of it being an urban area, it is more of a forested area, and the course is located in a lodge right in the centre. I see “E” and “A”, former colleagues who are also attending. We break off into syndicates and discuss various topics. All of a sudden three dark men enter the room and start threatening me, my vision fades and the dream ends.

Dream Signs: St Helens Forest (Context/Form)

HYPNOGOGIA: In between Recall One and Recall Two

After Recall One, I woke up and reached over to my bedside table to grab my notepad and pen. Half awake, half asleep, I scribbled some notes down on the dream I had just had, following which I placed the notepad and pen back in its night-time resting place and lay there in bed eyes open for a few seconds. It was then that I noticed something odd. My mind appeared to be both conscious and unconscious at the same time. I remember recalling the dream, but also had “memories” of what came next in the dream (“future echoes”), like I had already experienced the reality of the scenario when obviously I had not because the scenario was created by my subconscious. These future echoes were as real as any other event that I have had in this reality, it was as if my conscious and subconscious were have a fight for priority. Eventually I drifted back off to sleep and went into (at some point) Recall Two.

Dream Diary: Prelude

Now that I have attained my Reiki Level 2 status, my focus has now shifted for the time being to lucid dreaming. It’s something I’ve been reading about for a while now, but like many things in life, priority dictates the order in which such things are executed.

My brother-in-law came up at the weekend from London and we spent some quality time over the last few days with him and his sprogglings, enjoying the first real blast of Spring heat at the park yesterday. The mammoth two hours game of football served two purposes, to blow away the cobwebs from a few beers to celebrate his imminent thirty-third birthday down at the local pubs and casino and to spend some quality time with my nephews and own kids.

As an aside, a few of us went to the casino and my neighbour “D” gave me some BlackJack tips (in advnace of my trip to Vegas) and let me play with his chips for a while. Ever since joining the casino two years ago, every time I go in I throw twenty pound at the roulette table, almost directly at the croupier I may as well as my tactics are so poor I’m off the table normally within about four minutes. This time my tactic were different. I said to the wife that I was only going to put £10 on tonight, so I got twenty fifty-pence blue chips delivered to my side of the table.

I said to the wife that I was going to use my newly acquired reiki powers to influence the path of the ball, so a little potted, I drew a Cho Ku Rei on my right hand and sent out the power from my hand to the spinning wheel of misfortune. You would not believe what happened next, I certainly can’t. My tactics where to put a single chip on each “chakra point” on the roulette cloth (on the basis that in Hinduism one cycles through each chakra every seven years, until one starts again), so on that very first spin, the spin after I had sent a Cho Ku Rei towards the white ball of marble, five blue chips lay spread across the table, 7, 14, 21,28 and 34 (the beer having an effect on my basic levels of maths). And on the first spin, the spin after I had sent a Cho Ku Rei towards the white ball of marble up came number 7. I could not believe it. If that was shocking, two spins later 7 came up again! And a few spins after that 21 came up! Holy crap, what was going on. Had I really been imbibed the force on the beach two weeks ago. Did I have the same power that Qui-Gon Jinn had by fudging that dice roll with the force on Tattoine in The Phantom Menace?

Before we left for the evening out, my friend “M” came to our house for a beer and a chat to discuss amongst other things his very own progress in lucid dreaming. He shared that he has been doing it on and off for a couple of months now, and that although he is no expert, he has read up on it extensively. He said that he had had two vivid lucid dreams over that time, one in particular where he became self-aware that he was dreaming, and as he stood in the garden of his mums house at twilight shivering from the cold (and knowing that the laws of the physical universe do not apply in the subconscious), he manipulated the dream and turned the twilight vista into a bright and warm summers day.

I told him that I had read the website link he shared with me to give me a base knowledge on what it was I was getting myself into, but as I’m not a big reader, and much prefer to talk to people who have had experiences in certain things, seems to go into my thick noggin all the better.

So the next hour was spent me grilling him about the techniques he uses, and any accompanying software. In terms of the software, I had no luck, those on the iStore being inferior to Android, and looking a little deeper, as I share a bed with the significant other, not really conducive to my own REM (besides – any lucid dreaming app cannot replicate REM just now only bed movements so it’s relevance is limited). That said, I did download the Sleep Talk app, and have already seen (déjà vu?) some interesting things which I’ll go on to later.

Once the topic of software had been concluded, I then asked “M” about his own personal techniques, and last night I re-read the website to develop my own. So this is my plan over the next twenty-one days:

I will meditate for at least twenty minutes every day. I have set my alarm to go off 15 minutes early before my morning meds so I can catalogue sleep related events in my dream journal from the night before, as if I do not catalogue them then, then post-meditation it is very likely that everything will be lost.

Practice my own reality checks at regular intervals during the day. I have settled on my own. They say if you can combine one or more reality checks together, then likelihood of you realising you are in a dream is increased. So my reality check is to look at my right hand, whilst conscious, I can see the lines of my hand. The life lines actually make up the number seven in the palm of my right hand (yet again another reference to the number seven), and being able to see such detail in the subconscious state is limited. Following up on that, I will then count and take two fingers on my left hand and try to push them through the palm of my right hand, understanding that when I do this as the laws of the conscious realm do not apply there, I will be able to manipulate my dreams and interact however I see fit.

Before going to sleep, get into lucid dreaming mode by repeating to myself “I can remember my dreams. I can become aware in my subconscious. I can change my dream. I can commune with my subconscious self”.

Set the Sleep Talk app to record.

Observe my mind and body falling asleep, witness and catalogue any hypnogogic experiences.

Once (I mean if) I become lucid, I have decided that I will at first try to levitate above the ground, and following on from that, float back down to the ground and take off like Neo from The Matrix.

As soon as I wake (whether that be in the middle of the night) I will scribble notes down in my mini-jotter, make sense of them the next day and blog them up at some point when I have the time. I will also bear the following in mind when doing so:

PRIORITY: Write the most vivid recalls first, I one forgets the more boring ones then it doesn’t matter as much.

TITLE: Give the dream experience a title and confirm if the dream was lucid or not.

TENSE: Write in the present tense so that recall puts one back in the dream and increases the accuracy of the logging.

SIGNS: Note and detail dream signs, specific cues or triggers which reveal one is dreaming.

So my preparations are done, now all it will take is practice. And patience. It is said that if one applies their preparations correctly and one is methodical about learning how to lucid dream, and one is patient and not willing to give in, then it is likely to yield results within 21 days. There’s that number again. Three times seven…

Dream Diary: Introduction

So I have decided to add another string to my “new age” bow. I have had several very interesting conversations lately, all relating to the topic of lucid dreaming. I’m also a huge admirer of the film Inception, one of the most thought provoking films I’ve seen in many a year.

I have been sent a link from my friend “M” to the website World of Lucid Dreaming, which goes into some detail about the world of lucid dreaming (oddly enough) and presents dream control techniques for beginners. I will commence with a dream journal soon (as soon as my reiki cleansing period is over and I have the time), and share my lucidity journey (or otherwise) as it happens.

But for now, what is lucid dreaming exactly? Wiki explains:

“A lucid dream is any dream in which one is aware that one is dreaming. In a lucid dream, the dreamer has greater chances to exert some degree of control over their participation within the dream or be able to manipulate their imaginary experiences in the dream environment. Lucid dreams can be realistic and vivid. There is evidence to show that an increased amount of activity in the parietal lobes makes lucid dreaming a conscious process.

A 1968 study of lucid dreams analysed the main characteristics of such dreams, reviewing previously published literature on the subject and incorporating new data from participants. It was concluded that lucid dreams were a category of experience quite distinct from ordinary dreams, and predicted that they would turn out to be associated with rapid eye movement sleep (REM sleep), and that eye movements signalled the onset of lucidity.

A lucid dream can begin in one of many ways. A dream-initiated lucid dream (D.I.L.D.) starts as a normal dream, and the dreamer eventually concludes it is a dream. A wake-initiated lucid dream (W.I.L.D) occurs when the dreamer goes from a normal waking state directly into a dream state, with no apparent lapse in consciousness. The wake-initiated lucid dream occurs when the sleeper enters REM sleep with unbroken self-awareness directly from the waking state.

While dream control and dream awareness are correlated, neither requires the other:

  • Dreams that exhibit one clearly without the capacity for the other
  • In dreams where the dreamer is lucid and aware they could exercise control, they choose simply to observe.

Four corollaries (direct or natural consequence or result) of lucidity are as follows: 

  • The dreamer is aware that they are dreaming.
  • Objects disappear after waking.
  • Physical laws need not apply in the dream.
  • The dreamer has a clear memory of the waking world.

Some experienced lucid dreamers have learned to remember specific practical goals such as artists looking for inspiration seeking a show of their own work once they become lucid or computer programmers looking for a screen with their desired code. However, most of these dreamers had many experiences of failing to recall waking objectives before gaining this level of control.

Other phenomena associated to lucid dreaming are as follows:

Rapid Eye Movement (REM)

When a person is dreaming, the eyes shift rapidly. Scientific research has found that these eye movements may correspond to the direction the dreamer “looks” at in the dreamscape. This has enabled trained lucid dreamers to communicate with researchers while dreaming by using eye movement signals.

False awakening

In a false awakening, one dreams of having awoken. The room the dreamer falsely awakens in is often similar to the room he/she fell asleep in. If the person was lucid, they often believe that they are no longer dreaming and begin their morning routine. The dreamer remains naive to the dream either until they realize they haven’t actually woken up or until they really do wake up.

Sleep paralysis

During sleep the body paralyzes itself as a protection mechanism to prevent the movements that occur in the dream from causing the physical body to move. However, this mechanism can be triggered before, during, or after normal sleep while the brain awakens. This can lead to a state where the awakened sleeper feels paralyzed. Hypnagogic hallucination may occur in this state, especially auditory ones. Effects of sleep paralysis include heaviness or inability to move the muscles, rushing or pulsating noises, and brief hypnogogic or hypnopompic imagery.

Out-of-body experience

An out-of-body experience (OBE or sometimes OOBE) is an experience that typically involves a sensation of floating outside of one’s body and, in some cases, perceiving one’s physical body from a place outside one’s body (autoscopy). About one in ten people claim to have had an out-of-body experience at some time in their lives. Some work by neurologists suggests that such experiences are generated by the same brain mechanisms that cause lucid dreams.

Lucidity is strongly associated with stage 1 REM sleep but OBEs are far less consistent, producing EEG traces that can variously resemble stage 3 sleep, a waking, eyes-closed state or other uncategorized states. However, while this may suggest that perceived OBEs are a type of lucid dream which takes place in a dream environment that mimics the actual environment of the dreamer, this falls short of supporting the idea that some conscious form of the dreamer actually leaves the body and perceives their external environment while still in a sleeping state”.

As mentioned in my latest reiki diary entry, my friend “M” is having some quite remarkable results with lucid dreaming and has recently shared instructions of setting up apps on a smart phone to track sleep patterns, as well as links to instructions on how to lucid dream (all of which can be found at the link at the top of this post).

As well as all of that (again mentioned in my previous post) is the lucid light device which may be a good kickstarter for lucid dreaming. From what I can make out, it is a stroboscopic instrument which when viewed (with eyes closed) can “allegedly” help to produce (or help the pineal gland to produce) endogenous DMT (Dimethyltryptamine), and it is whilst this is happening that the viewer has the ability to ‘travel’ to or view other places, other realms (whether it be into the subconscious, super-conscious or astral plain is down to the interpretation of the viewer). Either way, it can bring forth moments of enlightenment, much in the way deep meditation / the kundalini experience can do.

There are several lucid light devices dotted around the south of the UK, for more information on these check out the following links:

I’m up for a ‘trip’ to Light Eye Mind if any other blogger is interested in meeting up…

Breadcrumb Diary: Week 5

None recorded…

#1 Inception
Those that have seen the Christopher Nolan film “Inception” will relate to this. Those that have read Anthony Peake’s book “Is There Life After Death” will also relate to this. Last night, my wife had a vivid dream about being on a boat which was at sea in the middle of the perfect storm. She recalls being on board with the whole family, and that the boat was thrashing about in the water, giving her feelings of falling and motion sickness. She was scrambling with the ropes and holding onto my daughter for dear life. Eventually a huge wave hit the boat and she and my daughter were tossed overboard into the ocean. In the realm of consciousness, she had actually fallen out of bed with my daughter and they were both on the floor. She then proceeded to push her back on the boat (bed) to get her back to safety (clearly in some sort of hypnogogic / dreaming state). Once she was on the boat (bed), my daughter turned to her and said ‘It’s ok Mummy, we’re back on the boat now’.

So my wife is not sure whether our daughter said that in the dream, whether they had had a shared dream, or that she had convinced our now semi-awake daughter that she was on a boat not a bed…

Curiously (hence the reference to Inception), I asked her how long the dream lasted for (more specifically the thrashing about and falling into the ocean bit), and she said it felt like 20 minutes. One of the many things I have read about recently is internal and external time. It appears that the time that passes in the unconscious or subconscious states is different to the conscious state. Our conscious time (external time) is measured by the clock, and in the collective sense is shared with everyone else. Our unconscious time (internal time 1) is slower than external time, in that events commonly take longer than they do in conscious time, if indeed we dream at all in unconscious time. Our subconscious time (internal time 2) is longer still (i.e. my wife’s 20 minutes of thrashing/falling took 0.5 seconds from the edge of the bed to the floor), as it is said that when we are in the realm of deep sleep (REM sleep) we have our most vivid dreams, and time that appears to be in minutes, hours, or days in internal time, takes place within perhaps milliseconds in external time. Timescales of the dream within a dream.

Anthony Peake has an interesting take on the dream aspect of this entry (not that he as or ever will see this post). It could be, that in the unconscious/subconscious state, we have a precognitive ability to sense what is about to happen in the conscious state, on the basis that our senses buffer like a computer, and that recent studies have suggested that the point at which the senses detects something there is a 0.5 second delay from before it presents its ‘findings’ to consciousness, and during that time (in the case of dreaming), the subconscious dreamer has ample time to process an entire scenario and present it to the mind of the individual concerned.

#1 Meditation, that’s what you need
I have had feeling of regret giving up yoga last year for the last few weeks. It’s not the postures I miss the most, but the meditation. An hour of stretching and bending was good don’t get me wrong, but for those 15 minutes a week, I was in a different place. My place, without the distraction of family, friends or work. Externally visible to others, yet in my own internal solitude. As horrendous January was to be over in a few hours, I decided to take a long hot bath and listen to some sitar tunes on Spotify. There was a particular track on Anoushka Shankar’s latest album which stuck out a mile for me as the best on the album. It is called ‘Metamorphosis’ and every time I hear it, I start to feel my chakras giving it some. With a flannel over my eyes as a make-shift blindfold, on the track came and I slipped out of external time and into the hippy zone.

Within an instant, I had a overwhelming feeling that the Indian lyrics had some sort of meaning for me. So I googled the mantra. And this was what it said:


Om Tryambakam Yajamahe
Sugandhim Pushtivardhanam
Urvarukamiva Bandhanan
Mrityor Mukshiya Maamritat

We Meditate on the Three-eyed reality.
Which permeates and nourishes all like a fragrance.
May we be liberated from death for the sake of immortality.
Even as the cucumber is severed from bondage to the creeper.

My recent readings have given me a lot of insight into the history and ‘esotericness’ of the pineal gland, and have been thinking for a number of weeks now that when I next meditated (whether it be at home or someplace else) that a deeper meditation was possible by focussing on the anja chakra (aka the pineal gland, aka the third eye)…

Before the track had ended, another feeling came to me. For some reason I thought of Laura my reiki master, and specifically the last time I had had reiki. At the time, I recall that she had her leg in a cast, and when she was doing reiki on me she centred on my right knee, and said that she felt there was something there, a blockage, a blockage that came with a certain level of frustration. After leaving, I turned to my wife and said that maybe Laura was picking up her own frustrations from me, in that her ligament damage had recently prevented her from starting up SUP (Stand Up Paddle Boarding), and it was she that was frustrated not me.

So there I was, lying in the bath with the remnants of cellulitis (yes on my right knee), acknowledging to myself that I was not taking part in a triathlon this year…

#2 Something Fishy going on
After my ‘karma’ bath, I went into the bedroom and for some reason the iPad was on. There was a track playing which was ‘State of Mind’ by Fish. Very odd I thought, not only due to the title of the track, but that no one ever listens to that album but me and I hadn’t switched it on. What was even weirder was the text message I was about to send. A chum had sent me a text to see how my leg was getting on, and for some totally bizarre reason, the word ‘still’ (“I am still in recovery mode” was that actual text) was replaced by ‘Marillion’ by the predictive text on my iPhone, Fish being the ex-lead singer of the band Marillion…

#3 Oooooooooooo (no I’m not talking about the Moto GP)
After I had retired for the evening, I decided to look for a local meditation circle near to where I live. I found one, and also opened the page again which had the translation of the mahamrityunjaya mantra. The page itself was quite interesting and goes on to state that there are 7 levels of consciousness:


Looking through each one, I found that when one reaches the highest state of consciousness (realisation, enlightenment) through yoga/meditation, then a specific mantra is adopted:

I am a Wave in the Ocean of Bliss. I and the Ocean are One. I am Ocean. I am That…

Reading this sent me back to when I was 20. I recall lying there in a still, blackened room, tripping my nuts off from too much THC. I recall the feeling of being burying in the sand up to my head, with wave after wave from the ocean hitting me bang on in the face (I believe the experience is called ‘sledging’). It was the next day that the sound of the waves in consciousness started (my tinnitus), and the waves have not left me ever since…

#1 Forty-Two
I’ve said many times over the last 12 months that for some reason, the number 42 is significant. The amount of times that number has popped up is becoming significant. As is customary these days, Saturday morning are me and pooch time. I’m always up first, and normally leave the masses in bed after delivering the obligatory cup of breakfast tea to the significant other. As it’s getting cold, we purchased Charlie a tartan winter coat, so on it went, as did the gloves and scarf (not his) and the next podcast in the Anthony Peake series (only 2 left now). This one was a rather lengthy one which I only got half way through, and was quite intrigued to hear him coin the phrase ‘Synchondipity’ which is a glued together / bastardisation of the words synchronicity (the simultaneous occurrence of events which appear significantly related but have no discernible causal connection) and serendipity (the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way).

My mind wanders whilst out on the long Saturday walks, a time which I can release the mind from the trappings of the world and enslavery to the corporation. Shortly after passing the Black Pearl, which is (or rather was due to the recent storm surge) a pirate boat built from driftwood, Charlie decided to try and descend one of the old precarious staircases to the River Mersey (which had been cordoned off with some ‘barberesque’ red and white tape).

On seeing him loitering dangerously, I went over to the promenade wall/staircase and called him away, and as he did so, he revealed to me a number on the promenade floor. A painted yellow number. The only number I could see that was painted on the whole of the promenade actually. The number was of course 42…


#2 It’s a secret
A friend of ours has recent split from her long term partner of sixteen years and is feeling a bit down about things, as can be expected at the end of a relationship. We got to talking in the evening and I went on to explain how yoga, meditation and reiki had helped me move certain negativities in my life, which included a path from feelings of frustration/anger to feelings of indifference (I’m of the opinion that emotions are attached to love, emotions are attached to hate and whilst in those states, one cannot move on and can only do so once indifference has set in).

I also went on to ask her if she was a reader, and that a colleague of mine had given me a book in the blackened days of 2012 when I was in a dark place, and if she would like it, I would drop it off at her house in the morning. She asked me what it was called, and after I gave her the title of ‘The Secret’, her eyes widened and she looked quite shocked. I asked her what was the reaction for, and she said that before her daughter went back down to London from a recent trip up north, she left a book on her bedside table that she thought she would help her. It was of course ‘The Secret’…

#1 Flash before my eyes
Sundays mornings usually involves a local trip to the cinema as our wonderful independent picture house has a kids club at the weekend, and the prices for films are greatly reduced. As my daughter had recently broke her leg in school (not by being pushed ‘overboard’ by her mum), she gets pushed around by wheelchair temporarily (which she temporarily enjoys no end), so a trip to the cinema which has good provision for less able-bodied folks held no fear. Before we left the house, Keira was complaining about the seat belt being tight, so I chose not to put it on her. As there is little/no traffic around on Sunday mornings at 9am, there was little/no risk.

So off we went to see the Moshi Monster Movie, which not a classic to be fair, devoid of  synchronicity (perhaps with the exception of Bobby Singsong, the Indian ‘Jollywood’ Moshi star who led a fine Moshi dance and got up to some serious sitar-based shenanigans).

After the lights went on, I carried her back to the wheelchair and this time decided to strap her in, to her mild annoyance. We left the cinema and waited for the lights to change to red. As we were talking about the movie, we heard the beep-beep sounding off so we began to cross the road along with a elderly couple next to us. We got to within a few feet on the centre line when a double-decker bus ran the red light right in front of us, forcing me to stop the chair dead in its tracks, with a little jolt to my daughter, possibly enough to push her out of her chair if she was not strapped in by the safety belt.

The driver realised that he was at fault, and in slow motion I had time to stop the wheelchair, to look at Keira to check she was ok, to look around at the elderly couple and to see the driver raise both arms up in the air as if to register his apologies for a potential calamitous event. He was going fast still (probably 25-30 mph), so I think that if we were slightly more advanced in the road, or her belt was not on, something quite serious could have occurred. But not today. Today was not that day. Thankfully.

So what was it that made me put the seat belt on, was it a return of health and safety obligations that I never had on my outward journey to the cinema, or was it something else, something precognative?

Kids are kids, and pushing her on up the hill towards home, she stated that the bus driver was a silly man, and that he needed more driving lessons. How true…

#2 Plate up
After getting my daughter back to the house and telling my wife what had happened (who wanted to contact the bus company to register her disgust immediately), I had a quick coffee and then went back down the hill to the store to get some provisions for lunch, which gave me a chance to pop on / finish my Anthony Peake podcast.

Now Tony is an avid fan of the works of Philip K Dick (an American science fiction writer who’s worked has been referenced or made onto film – such as Total Recall, Minority Report, A Scanner Darkly). In the interview, he cites a strange case of ‘synchondipity’, whereby he was approached by a group of students post-lecture who claimed that the reason why they were at his lecture, was that one of them was picking up a book from the library the day before and saw the poster for the lecture which had a picture of Tony next to a cover of the book Valis by Philip K Dick. The student in question went on to tell Tony that the book he picked up from the library was in fact Valis by Philip K Dick.

Picture the scene then on the M53 motorway not 2 hours late if you will, when I took the exit towards Bromborough and at the end of the slip road I was at the lights, stationary, behind a Range Rover with the personalised number plate of V14 LSS…

#1 I see faces and traces of home
I have often wondering how complex the mind is, specifically the unconscious or subconscious. I had the most vivid dream in the most minute detail last night. Nothing incredibly interesting happened, there was no boat, I did not fall out of bed. What did amaze me was the level of detail. I’ve never been to New York, but I recall walking through a part of Manhattan (for some reason the skyscrapers were not as tall) but every side to every build, every height, every different shaped window, every corner was conceived in full OLED quality. I had a meeting with an aging line-faced Russian project manager in an impeccable office, yet the signs on the doors were scrawled notes in red pen, on paper ripped from tatty notepads. Afterwards she directed me to my hotel which was literally next door, that had some sort of ship theme to it (the hotel was in the street but it looked like the side of a cruise ship deck).

So that was the dream. No spectacular events, just spectacular detail. It is astounding how one can create something so complex, and on that note, if ones unconscious/subconscious state can create something so magnificent, who’s to say that our conscious state isn’t doing the exact same thing…

None recorded…